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The urge to write

After 6 years of not keeping a journal, I feel the urge to, perhaps just to write. It's also so very interesting to look back on what I have kept on here before!

I have no idea if anyone still would even be on here!

I intend to write and try to use it to ramble and work out my next adventure and journey forward in this weird thing we call life!

Friends Only

Im making this friends only, i don't seem to post anything other than friend stuff, so comment for an add.

Public Holiday

Public holidays are good :) no work, what can i say? bummed now that i have to go to work 2moro :( oh wells, only 4 days to go til the weekend lol im already hanging for it haha. Not that there is anything im looking forward to, perhaps just so i can spend it by myself and not have to do anything. Anyways for the public holiday i played golf, chilling in good old outdoors, even though it was cold as! It was alright though, other than that i just worked on my basketball game, after a rather ordinary performance last week (15-12-6) in a rather heavy defeat, just a little out of touch, so a few hours should help me get back on track.

I have had a lot of time to myself today, just keeping active, but i have also thought about a lot. I realised i dont really have a friend that i can talk to about anything deep/important or whatever you want to call it really. Im still hurting from the weekend, i hated that lonely experience and stuff, i hate the feeling of being alone. Its tiring, its just horrible. I am sorta in need of someone to be close to, someone i can have to help me, especially when the dark negative thoughts are there, just someone to actually show me something and keep me sane, its all that i really want. Of course i also want the 2 way street. I want someone to care for, someone to trust, i think im too trusting at times, my nature of being easy going, turning the other cheek or standing up for those i care about, this just leads things a wry, like wat im trying to say i guess is that i feel like people disappear and only come back when it is in their best interest to, sorta so they can gain from the situation. Im over that, i want to be how i am, but not getting used or fucked over. Like im never not going to trust people, but i have to try and limit it to some extent. All these thoughts, they are not getting me anywhere, not really helping in truth, it doesn't change anything. Fuck Ash, get urself into a decent headspace!! Stop ranting and sooking dammit!! Just face the reality of it all. Sorry!

Anyways still on the above tangent, i have been listening to a lot of A Perfect Circle lately, i love Maynard's voice, so fucking good! but the song 3 libras sums up to some extent of how i feel about everything.

3 Libras lyricsCollapse )

Writer's Block: Current Favorites

Tell us your current favorite: book, movie, CD, video game.

im bored so i figured id post this writers block thingy, haha

favourite book: The Jordan Rules - an excellent read into a season of nba with michael jordan
favourite movie: Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas - awesum movie, deep and del toro are awesum in it. Its about a reporter who goes on a drug crazed trip to las vegas. Some of the drug trip scenes are very accurate as to wat someone would actually experience on the drugs. I love it, rekon its funny as.
favourite CD: Day of the Dog - Bliss N Eso - This is my favourite right now, i love Bliss N Eso stuff, such a good oz hip hop group. Killer beats and sic lyrics. Awesum shit for chillin out or partying hardcore
favourite video game: Hmmm, theres only really 2 games ive played lately, NBA Live 08 and Counterstrike, both good fun games. My fvourite depends on wa my friends are playing haha

Writer's Block: The Nose Knows

What is your favorite smell? What does it remind you of?

My favourite smell would be the smell of a home cooked roasted meal, means the whole family is together which is always good.
Other than that it would be just plain fresh air, unpolluted. When you are far out in the wilderness, i just enjoy that, just so relaxing!

The day called Fri

Im so confused right now... I had a very good day at uni, got some good work done on my project which has given me a little bit of self belief in the work!! :) That is helpful when ur stressed out about something as well!!

Some stupid person parked there car right behind mine today in a spot which wasnt even a parking spot!!! I had parked rather close to the car in front, cuz they could simply drive forward and i could reverse and 2 cars could fit, but sum stoopid fool thought 3 could and did, just a had not much hope of moving it anywhere!! I ended up just getting rolling back onto there car and did about a 400 point turn to get out off there lol

Im gunna be catching up with Damien for a bit 2nite... have a beer or 2 and a couple of games of 8ball... should b good!!

Latest Month

June 2015


I finally understand what all this is,
How it was all possible,
Now I see,
Good lord how we must look from out there
Our addiction is evil
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